“WOMAN COMMITS SUICIDE AFTER TIFF WITH HUSBAND”
The headlines jar from the paper as I walk past the newspaper stand in Delhi. Normally I would not give it a second look because these days such news are the only stuff the media is concerned about. And as each year progresses, the more atrocious the crimes get! But, the names of those involved is what stopped me. (O no, I’m not going to reveal the names.. Let’s just say the husband is RT and AJ is the wife’ name.)
I’ve known RT and AJ from my school days. They were my seniors and they were the cutest couple around.. Of course I never realized they were seeing each other till much later..but it was very clear to whoever saw them together that they had a very special bond.
It was a shock to hear that AJ suicided! And the reason was a tiff with her 18 month old husband RT who was the love of her life! I mean, how was it even possible?! That was the first question in my mind. Maybe it was a murder. Who knows..
This incident got me thinking about how precious life is and how precariously balanced love is in any relationship. It is not something you can take for granted and neither can we safely assume that it is going to last forever. In olden times, yes. Maybe it did last forever. But now, the times have changed and even though it is supposedly modern times, we all are still in search of that one true love which somehow seems elusive to many.
Even being in love is not enough. It can fade..It can vanish..It can be misplaced..It can be trampled upon..It can be destructive..Love can make even the most controlled people lose control.
What is most difficult and so much more important is to STAY in love. To be able to make the relationship work.To be able to let go and trust each other, understanding without words what your partner needs. And in the end, to BE there for each other in the face of all else. If you have that, then you are most lucky. You can find a way out of anything because you have love in its purest form.
Talking of love, it is not just what you have or try to beget between a husband and wife that I’m talking about. You have soo many different kinds of love. Now, assuming that it truly is a suicide, if AJ had just paused a moment and thought of her parents, her friends and all those people who care for her and want to see her happy, she surely would have been dissuaded from this rash act. She could have been in due course of time even if that meant a life without RT. Maybe that just wasn’t enough to change her plans. The problem is as I read somewhere else, “..marriage is more about what you do when there is no chemistry rather than what you do when you’re full of emotion. The real passion comes when each partner does acts of kindness….when they don’t feel like it…“
Even now, it is hard to believe that such a bubbly and cheerful girl who was well loved by so many, who had a single boyfriend whom she loved more than anything and whom she married after so many years together, who even bought a pet with her husband a month earlier, willingly took her life!! Wouldn’t that make anyone think twice and want to learn what exactly might have gone wrong?
LOVE..Those four letters which can wreck havoc at such short notice.. which can make or break lives.
I’d always felt that if you have love, you can work through anything. But now, I wonder. Can we really work through anything? Can love not get so manipulated in our heads that it can twist its deep roots in our heart making us think things that may not be true, do things that may not be right. Can we survive when love becomes warped? When it feels like you are being pulled in two directions.
Would you end your life or try to see a way through even if it meant more misery, tears and humiliation?