We have families where the husband goes to work and comes home with a good pay package. These are where the husband does not have to wreck havoc within the family by bringing work home and hence, he is able to spend time with his wife and kids; maybe go out some night, go shopping, watch a movie and so on.
On the other hand, there are families where the husband works hard from early morning till late, late at night and still ends up having to take onshore calls. In such kind of families the husband has time to only work and sleep. Yes, he rarely has time to even eat! Even so, he gets paid just a bare minimum. Why? Because he is working from offshore. I’m sure you know these kinds of unhappy families where the wife is just someone who is there to cook food and keep house and the husband is the donkey of the office. He works not only on weekdays but also over weekends!!! This is most common when the man of the household is a software engineer and one of those working in low-paying multinational companies such as Infosys, TCS or Wipro.
Women are not better either. These days, there are so many career-oriented women that all they care for is money. Their only wish is to be able to shop to their heart’s content. A “family” is almost out of question for them. Even if they want kids it is something like a far-far away aim. Note that I did not say it was a ‘dream’; for the simple reason that it is not.
I have seen many couples in Bangalore where the woman of the household is also an earning member from the software field. Many have kids. But when you have a child and you are a mother, wouldn’t you want to take care of your children, watch them grow, play with them, teach them the values of life and create memories? I know I would want to. But these ladies that I have observed.. they just don’t care. They are not bothered about any of these precious moments with their kids. From an outsider’ point of view and remember just by observation (I’m not saying that all of them can be categorized in this manner. But the majority goes through life in this pattern.), one can confidently say that these women have given birth to kids just so that their parents and other elders would get off their backs about “having a family”. Give birth to two kids before you reach 30 yrs of age, get back to earning those green bucks and nobody is going to bother you ever again. What joy!
These families are dysfunctional in a new and modern kind of way.
You tell me. Don’t you feel any importance for that blessing called “family”? What does a family life mean to you? The smile of your wife, the food she cooks for you with so much love, the innocence of your children, their trusting hearts…
How can a man or woman justify their actions to their kids later on in life if they are not available to nurture them when it is required? How can you sustain a relationship where there are no deep bonds? How can a marriage survive when the members of a family all lead different lives?
I always say that in the end, it is only your family who will be there for you. Not your career. Not your friends. Nobody other than your husband. Not even your children for that matter! But then that is a different post altogether 😉