Is it a boy or a girl???!! Either was great! :)” I had this feeling deep within me that it would be a boy. 90%. My tummy had grown outwards and not sideways. Or maybe a girl. Old wives tales need not be 100% correct. It’d be great if it was a girl..dresses, dolls, ribbons and lace..all over again!!! 😀 No. Surely a boy. The time was ripe for boys. August was boy season! Lol and thus went the argument inside my head throughout those 9 months and a week more…
Now, it’s been 4 months and 2 weeks now and I still remember like it just happened yesterday!
It was a fine sunny August day at 7:00 am when I walked into the operation theater. After being ‘prepared’ for the C, they explained that I would first be numbed waist down so that I could see my baby and then I would be given general anesthesia. To be truthful, I was a little worried about what my reaction might be if I were to see the surgical instruments that would obviously be in use and mostly I had this insane fear that the anesthesia might not work. I would be in DEEP pain! Then what??! All I could think of was that I wished V or my mom was with me!!! If I could just see one reassuring face, I knew everything would be alright. But neither of them were there..
7:30am: All set with the urine catheter and drip, so close to the scheduled time.. “I’m scared and I want my mommy!!!” :/ Nurses try to keep me comfortable. Some talk to me..Some are praying..Some chat between themselves..Some are goofing around..while others prepare for the surgery.
8:20am: Suddenly, there was a flurry of activity and the nice doctor came in. She allowed my mom to come in and see me for a moment. The surgical attendants were all ready.
8:22am: I walk into the operation theater (HATE that word!).
8:24am: The anesthetic began his procedure on my spine. I’ve heard epidural doesn’t hurt. I guess that is true in a way. While I was given the epidural, a nurse held my head down while another kept patting my hand to keep me from freaking out. I could feel a sharp cold metallic feeling. I don’t know how to explain it any other way! After awhile, I couldn’t feel my legs..and the surgeon began her work.
Being Hindus and knowing that a C-section was inevitable, the time we had in mind for the baby’s birth was between 7am and 8:40am. So there I lay with doctors and surgeons hovering midway down.The clock ticking away the seconds.
8:27am: “How long does a C take? Could I hold the baby? Who will hold the baby first? I wish V was with me. I hope he surprises me by waiting for me with our baby once this is over… I hope the operation goes smooth. Ooh! I HATE hospitals and the thought of operations!!!
8:30am: Oh! Was that feeling a knife ‘cutting’ through my skin??!! It feels like someone rubbing my belly really hard..I hope the baby doesn’t feel all these crazy things.. I was alarmed! I wanted to ask the doc what was happening but there were so many things happening around me, my mind was in overload mode!
8:33am: I hear the cry “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ammmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…”, The doc says, “It’s a baby boy.!” My baby. My darling baby..It’s a boy!!:) They show him to me.. His hands are outstretched towards me while he wails his little heart out , his eyes screwed up!!! At that moment, I knew I could love no one or anything else with the intensity with which I loved this tiny being who was my companion and my friend listening to me and comforting me through soooo many months..I loved my baby!! 😀
I could feel the wide 100 watt smile dawning on my face when suddenly the process of general anesthesia began. The oxygen mask was clamped onto my face covering my nose and mouth.
After that, I only remember waking up to see my mom’ face and deliriously telling her how handsome and long my baby boy is!! 😀
My sister had reached, my in-laws were waiting and my mother was right by my side!! :))
But, I wasn’t allowed a glimpse of my little one or hold him till the next day as he was in the NICU. Being a big baby, he was finding it hard to adjust to ‘life outside mommy’. The more they kept me waiting the more I was worried! (or rather terrified!!!)
At last, the next day, once the doc said “OK”, the nurse brought my baby to me and I held him in my arms for the very first time. When I called out to him, he turned and looked at me…recognizing my voice. I was in 7th heaven! That was the best moment of my life!
He had to stay in the NICU for some more time. Only on the 3rd night of his life was he allowed to lay with me..It felt so nice to have him snuggling by my side, my arms around him.