As a mother, I can now confidently say that I rarely understood my parents when I was a child.. All that haze surrounding my mind has been lifted and I am able to pretty much make out why my mom must have said “NO” at particular times and how frustrated she must have been with our rebellions and outbursts!!
I can’t say I was a ‘rebellious’ teenager but neither was I this fashionable diva kind of girl. I had my moments.
I remember arguing with my mother about a Himalayan trek I wanted to go for in my seventh grade. But she gave me an outright “No”! At that time, I argued with my mom, fussed about the ‘unfairness’, reasoned that ‘everybody was going’ and even blamed my mom for ‘not letting me do anything I wanted’!!! Mom told me that ‘Money must be used wisely and that at the moment there wasn’t enough for this luxury.’ I remember whining ‘it’s just a small amount..why can’t I go??’ My mom didn’t even bat an eyelid!
Now as a mother myself, I realize that my mom was only trying to teach me the value of money and about sticking to your guts. I’m sure my mom might have been hurt by the unjust accusations I made against her. But she never let me know it.
There was this other time..actually this happened almost every time 😉 I used to ask permission from mom to visit my friends promising that I’d be back by 3pm. But every single time, by noon my friends and I would be formulating a plan to call my mom and delay the curfew. Fact is, both my best friends were pretty much neighbours and my home was about 6 miles away from theirs. Now I know, mom was just worried about me travelling alone at night such a distance in a land where kidnappings and molestation happened on a regular basis..where there were so many men with an itch in their you know where!! But being young and a teenager I always said, “Amma, this is the last time…Promisseeee” 😉 But guess what? It was never the last time 😉 Even when all three of us went off to college!!
The present generation is so used to getting their way with things that it is really sad how materialistic the world is getting to be. But it is not right to just blame the ‘present generation’. It is more the young parents fault. Either it’s that they don’t have the time to do a good job of parenting or they think they can be best friends with their children. What parents these days forget is that they are after all the parents. Hence, they MUST learn to navigate that thin line between being friends with your children and at the same time, being parents too.